Sunday, January 12, 2014

First thoughts, Future thoughts

I'm turning 18 in less than a week and it's scary to me. I will be a legal adult in society. Most people I know can't wait to have that label, but not me. As much as I want to leave the nest and get out and see the world and go on adventures, I want to do it as a kid. Maybe some of it is because I am afraid of taking responsibility for my actions when I screw up, I've definitely been guilty of that. But I believe there is something far more scary. I feel that turning 18 is the first step to conforming to the rest of society and living a life that everyone else says your supposed to, a boring life, a scheduled life, a restricted life. As a kid you see the world through a different lens there are endless possibilities to what you can do. There are a few things I think kids have that most "normal" adults do not, the most important being creativity. I don't want to see a world through a black and white lens. I want to see it through one full of color. I want to do the things other people are afraid to, I want to question the norm. I want to live a life that when I am on my death bed I can look back and have few regrets if any. While there is no way to stop my birthday on Saturday, I am going to everything in my power to not be one more person in the world who does the same thing every day for the rest of their lives. That starts with maintaining whatever creativity I have left, so I will make art. I vow to make art for the rest of my life, now that doesn't necessarily mean I will become an artist, but for the rest of my life in one way or another I will make art. I don't have the drive a lot of my friends have to become rich and successful. I guess the drive I have is to leave my mark on this world somehow, I would like to leave it a better place then it was when I got here. There are a couple of things I am good at, art and lacrosse. Honestly I don't see myself changing the world on the lacrosse field. I want to make something out of my art, I want to make something that will challenge people to think differently about the world they live in when they look at it. When I say make something I don't necessarily mean one single piece of art. It could be many pieces or no pieces it could just be an idea. I don't know what it will be yet, but it will be something and it will be good.

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